why won't you stop!

my esmond is a runner! and since he's always on his tippy-toes, he is always in sprint mode. catching him is a tough thing to do. i have already mentioned how fast the boy is. and when i call, yell, scream..."stop"...it does no good. he just turns around, smiles, and keeps going.

it scares me to death! one day i will not be able to catch him. i am having a hard time now. i played tennis and basketball in high school. i have always been a bit athletic, but good lord, i am 42 now. i am not as fast as i use to be. it has got to stop.

this issue we have been trying to address for some time now. how to do get esmond to listen and stop when he is told to? i have tried a swat on the butt. it does no good. he's doesn't understand it. bless his little sweet autistic heart.

so anyway, we have a new therapist. boy is he good! we made it clear from the beginning that we did not want drugs or any of these "alternative bio-med" therapies. but we need to find a way to get him to pay attention, listen, and do what he's suppose to do before he hurts himself, gets lost, whatever...

after about two hours of discussion and observation this is what he came up with. start small!

apparently a lot of these children do not understand the concept of reward and consequence the way nt children do. for example, if i tell maxie either do this or the crayons are gone for the day...she will usually comply. at least for a little while. that doesn't work with an autistic child, at least a young one. it appears that you have to create motivation by appealing to their more basic needs than wants. esmond may want to color but if he can't, so what...he'll be happy with the train instead. it makes no difference to him. but if he needs food...well that is a different story.

don't get me wrong. i am not trying or being cruel. esmond is a healthy child with a healthy appetite. so that is where our therapist suggest that we begin.

we needed to get esmond out of the high-chair. he is way to big for it, but we could not get him to sit still long enough at the table to eat. he was into everything and grabbing and throwing. it was a battle and one that i and his father grew quickly weary off. so we kept forcing his to big body into the high-chair. which then he was strong enough to rock it off balance. not good!

so here was the plan to implement. get rid of the high-chair and put esmond at the table in a regular chair. if he disrupted anything or got up...then he went to his room. then give him a few moments and try again. if he disrupted or tried to get up a second time instead of eating, then he's done. that's it. he's off to bed without his meal. of course we could give him some milk latter. the point being that food is something he needs and it wouldn't take long for him to associate that if he wanted to eat he was going to have to sit down at the table and eat.

the therapist was right. maybe two meals went by before esmond knew that when it was time to eat, you sit down at the table and eat. he didn't throw anything or get up. amazing! over a week has now gone by and my boy has not missed a meal. if he gets up more than twice we say and sign "all done" and he's usually had enough. meal time has been so much more pleasant. and we didn't have to use drugs or h-bot or supplements or any "alternative" quack therapies.

so, now about the running and how this all ties in together. i am so tired of letting the children outside and having to run sprints to catch him when he goes where he is not suppose to go. so i applied the same concept tonight.

after two times of nearly having a heart-attack from not being able to catch or find esmond for a moment, i put him in his room. after the first time i let him stay in there for about 10 minutes. i could hear him crying. he wanted to be outside so bad. but i waited. so after about 5 minutes he was back up to his tricks of not listening and running around about to give me a second heart- attack. so, back in his room he went. and again i could hear him crying. but i stayed strong and waited. this time about 15 minutes. then the third time...what a difference. he stopped when i said no and came back to the part of the yard i wanted him to stay in. just for info, our yard is about two acres...so chasing him gets pretty tiring. we ended up spending about an hour outside with him listening and doing what he was suppose to do.

no drugs...no "alternative" therapies. just patience and parenting. hope this helps.

take care and good night,
sly67